The only one thing that you asked for was for the garbage to be taken out. A little while later you realize your partner failed to do it. When you ask why they didn’t do it, your partner responds “I never heard you ask me”. Curious how that works, how your partner didn’t hear the one thing you asked them to do. This “selective hearing” is a normal indication that communication is breaking down.
This “selective hearing” is frequently viewed as a kind of character defect. It’s like you’re accusing someone of deliberately not listening. But selective hearing may actually be related to untreated hearing loss instead of a short attention span.
What is selective hearing?
You’ve likely been accused of selective hearing at some time in your life, even if nobody used that particular term. Selective hearing happens when you can clearly hear information that’s helpful to you but conveniently miss the bit that’s negative. You hear the part about making a delicious meal but miss the part about cleaning up the dishes. That sort of thing.
As a behavior, selective hearing is incredibly common. However, most research points to men failing to hear their partners more frequently than women.
It may be tempting to draw some social conclusions from that (and the way that people are socialized certainly does play into how this behavior is contextualized). But hearing health is most likely another major component. Let’s say your “selective hearing” starts to become more prevalent or more common. That could actually be an early indication of hearing loss.
Hearing loss can cause gaps in communication
Undiagnosed hearing loss can certainly make communication a lot more difficult. You’re probably not surprised by that.
But one prominent indication of hearing loss is communication issues.
Symptoms can be really hard to detect when hearing loss is in the early stages. Your tv may get a bit louder. You can’t quite hear what your friend is saying when you go out for a beverage at your local bar. It’s most likely because the music is so loud, right? And so, besides that, you could go through most of your day-to-day life without even noticing the volume of the world around you. Your hearing can gradually deteriorate because of this. You hardly notice the problem until you’re at the point where you often have difficulty hearing conversations.
Your partner is becoming concerned about the health of your hearing
The people close to you will probably be concerned. Yes, selective hearing is a rather common annoyance (even more irritating when you already feel as if no one listens to you). But that frustration often becomes worry when they recognize that hearing loss might be the real culprit.
And your partner may want you to find out what’s going on by having you schedule a hearing test.
It’s significant to listen to your partner’s concerns. Have an open discussion and consider that they have a caring attitude and not just annoyance.
Early hearing loss has a few other indicators
You should watch out for some of the other early warning signs of hearing loss if your selective hearing seems to be getting worse. Some of those signs include:
- Difficulty hearing in crowds
- Having a hard time making out consonants
- Requesting that people speak slower and talk louder
- Turning up the volume on your devices
- People sound distant or muted when they speak
You should contact us for a hearing test if you experience any of these symptoms.
Always protect your hearing
It’s essential that you take steps to safeguard your ears so that you can prevent hearing loss. If you can’t stay away from overly loud noise, make sure you use hearing protection, like muffs or plugs. Hearing aids can also help you have more effective communication, which can smooth over many rough spots that your hearing loss might have caused in the first place.
In most cases throughout your life, selective hearing is going to be an artifact of a waning attention span. But when you (or someone around you) notices your selective hearing becoming worse, you might want to take that as an indication that it’s time to get your hearing assessed.